The Fanny Pack

I've long despised pockets. Wallets make me feel like I have a massive tumor on my ass. Keys are always molding into the most obnoxious, uncomfortable position they can be in at any given time. Modern smartphones are only getting bigger and wider, and if I wanted that in my pocket, I would carry a spatula. A book bag is a little too much for my needs ... but a fanny pack. Ho-ly shiiit -- a fanny pack would rid my pelvic area of all its encumbrances.

I would love to have one right now. If we were friends and you needed ChapStick -- BOOM -- it's in my fanny pack. You're welcome. Hold on; I think I've got a coupon for Golden Corral in here somewhere. Half-priced buffet if we eat before 6. You're welcome. Dude, you want a Tic Tac? Wintergreen or Fruit Adventure? You're welcome, but don't thank me -- thank the fanny pack. I'd be so goddamn cool.

The Rock in a fanny pack AND an Insane Clown Posse shirt. That's ... that's incredible.

I had a fanny pack when I was a kid. I got rid of it when I entered middle schoo.The biggest reason for that, I think, is that fanny packs are too practical for their own good. They're so functional, they practically sell themselves, but they're also so tragically uncool that they practically recall themselves back to the factory and their Asian sweatshop manufacturers commit seppuku for shaming the world with the uncoolness of their functionally perfect product.

It also didn't help that fanny packs were worn almost exclusively by off-duty professional wrestlers. Wrestlers aren't exactly fashion trendsetters; they tend to dress like athletic homeless people. They hit the gym, scream at a train, and then fall asleep on a brick.

Work that fanny, Granny!

Everything that's cool today will fade into uncoolness with time, only to be brought back by some trendy, useless heiress 15 years from now. Fanny packs are about due for their resurgence, and when they return, you better damn well know that if we're hanging out and you've got the sniffles, I've got a travel pack of tissues for you. They're in my fanny pack. You're welcome.

Money and Happiness

USE MONEY TO ACCOMPLISH STUFF!

Whether it can buy happiness or not, money can of course buy many, many other things. Things like butlers and martial arts lessons and underground lairs. That's right: If you have money, you can become the goddamned Batman.

The happiest man of all.

OK, so maybe Batman isn't that happy. But he is doing something, and for most people, that will lead to happiness. Far too many people spend all their time either trying to get more money or distracting themselves during their downtime. This is the demographic that reports that money can't buy happiness. They've got money, and they sure aren't happy. But if they instead tried to accomplish something more constructive than making more money, they'd almost certainly be happier. Actually building or accomplishing something can provide a deep level of satisfaction that no amount of jet skis or baccarat can match.

This will require a bit of self-reflection to discover the things you'll ultimately want to accomplish in life, but whether it's a creative endeavor, some form of philanthropy, or becoming the goddamned Batman, you will absolutely find lasting happiness in accomplishing those goals. And whether it's affording you the tools, the connections, or even just the free time to pursue these goals, those are things money definitely can buy.

But what if you just don't want to accomplish anything? What if hard work and constructive activity are things that, in the parlance of our times, you can't even? Is there any easier way money can buy you happiness? Oh sure.

Shower Ideas

Go ask anyone where they had their last good idea. Chances are either they'll say it was in the shower or they're lying.

There are several reasons why showers are such idea magnets: You wash yourself more or less on autopilot, so your mind is free to wander. Combined with the dopamine release triggered by the cozy, enclosed place and warm water, this creates the perfect environment for some heavy duty idea-mongerin'. Well, that's what scientists say, anyway. Personally, I've always suspected that getting naked under an artificially heated man-made waterfall and lathering your carcass with surfactants boiled from dead plant and animal drippings causes the universe to lob ideas at you in a desperate effort to make you stop that shit.

Still, whatever the reasons behind its magic, the shower is the perfect idea booster that is very, very difficult to get wrong.

If it doesn't work, call a plumber. If this happens, call a druid.

The Problem:

There is one significant downside to showering. Your ideas are pretty much confined to a single tiny room-coffin, and it just happens to be the one place in the house where it's almost impossible to take notes. Leave the shower, and there's a good chance the idea will be gone in a gust of cold air and discomfort by the time you've toweled off.

With this in mind, I would like to propose a new worldwide business model for universitys everywhere. Let's make showers part of our daily class culture. Let's install shower booths in every classroom, meeting room, and hallway. You know what, forget booths -- let's just cut out the middleman and make everywhere showers. We can keep one small room in each house (the former bathroom, of course) dedicated to boring dryness, where we'd occasionally venture to type down our constant quality ideas. I want this to happen because everyone's brain would constantly be in maximum creative mode, cranking out quality ideas for the meager price of senselessly wasting priceless natural resources 24/7.

The Sand Cat

The sand cat is one of the world's smallest cat species and a skilled nocturnal hunter who knows how to avoid any potential larger predator. It's also a desert dweller in Arabia and the Sahara, which means there isn't much human encroachment on its habitat. And the established tradition where the sand cat was the Prophet Muhammad's companion means no one's developed a taste for eating them.

Want to guess why they're going extinct anyway?

"Oh please don't tell my kitten face any heartbreaking news."

If you guessed "douchebag humans who hunt Earth's cutest animals down for no good reason," you guessed right.

Every other wild cat species is bigger, scarier, and more impressive of a target, but for some reason, people still hunt the sand cat relentlessly.

What's more logical yet still mind-fuckingly evil is those illegal pet traders going after sand cats. They basically look just like house cats, which have been in a Cola War-style popularity contest with dogs for centuries. Just own a normal cat, jerks. Why must you own the endangered version?

That adorable little nose makes a compelling case, but still.

Oh, and the similarities between sand cats and house cats are only fur-deep, because sand cats are shy, feral, nocturnal, and instinctive deadly hunters of small things. That doesn't scream "docile pet that sticks around."

If somebody doesn't do something for the sand cat and all of the other animals on this list, soon we'll be reduced to looking at the same cute pictures of human beings over and over again instead of animal pics, and that's ... a poor substitute?

http://bigcatrescue.org/sand-cat-facts/

The truth on knuckle cracking

Knuckle cracking is an annoying, nerve-wracking habit that comes with its own built-in punishment: namely, arthritis. If you keep on crackin', karma will eventually bite you in the ass in the shape of a painful, potentially disfiguring joint disease. But what else could you expect? You're cracking your knuckles.

But Actually ...

First of all, it helps to understand what knuckle cracking actually is. You're not grinding your bones or popping your joints out of place -- the noise is just tiny gas bubbles popping in the fluid in the joints of your fingers.

They're like party poppers with less clean-up.

There have been multiple studies into the habit, which is how we know which gender cracks their knuckles more (men), how prevalent the habit is, and that it does NOT, in fact, cause arthritis.

If you don't believe any of those studies, maybe you can at least trust a scientist named Donald Unger, who undertook a 50- (50!) year study of the effects of habitually cracking your knuckles, using his own left hand as the test subject and the right hand as a relatively crack-free "control group." Did we mention he did this every day for 50 years? We feel that part cannot be repeated enough.

In the end, he found that there was no correlation between arthritis and knuckle cracking, since both of the hands were fine, and the only discriminating thing about either of them was the fact that they were attached to a potentially crazy person. The scientific community made it known what they thought about the importance of Unger's work by awarding him an Ig Nobel Prize, the closest thing to a Razzie that science can get away with. The dude was still right, though.

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/crack-research/

Electives

If you've never heard the term, get familiar with the word "electives." Those courses will be both your dream classes and your ever-taunting nightmares. Electives are classes that are not a part of the core set required for your degree. However, you will be required to take a certain number of these, just in general. It sounds weird, and it is, so let me explain.

Say you want to be a math teacher. Your class planner will show you that you need certain science classes, certain math classes, etc. And sometime between now and when you graduate, you also have to mix in so many hours' worth of elective classes of your choice. In that context, no specific elective is required ... but the class type is.

"Yep. I can feel my psychology skills sharpening by the second."

So now, while you're worrying yourself into vomiting bile over passing these extremely important classes that dictate your future career, you're also forced to take weird nonsense like 1970s Music Appreciation or Buttons to Zippers: A History of Fastening Devices. And yes, they have final exams, just like the rest of your schedule. 

The upside is that there usually aren't many people in attendance, so it's less stressful for a person like me who continuously screams if he's in a room with more than five other humans. And the subject matter is usually pretty light and easy to retain, so it's a break from the normal grind. Unless that class is Advanced Grinding for Stress Lovers.

Even outside of electives, many of your required classes won't have anything to do with your actual career. You'll have to take multiple writing and psychology courses, even if you're shooting for a degree in mathematics or coaching dodgeball. What does biology have to do with your aspirations to teach European literature? Absolutely nothing, besides the fact that ... well, you just have to, because we said so. Please give us money now.

Learning to say "NO"

One of the most common bad traits I've seen in everyday life is people who find themselves unable to say no, even when the deed they're performing dumps their own lives. How many of you have contacts in your phone that make you cringe as soon as you see them light up? The ones who are so bad that you've assigned as their ringtone a recording of your own voice screaming, "DON'T ANSWER THAT! BURN YOUR PHONE AND RUN AWAY!" But you find yourself answering it anyway, and before they even get to the part where they ask for the favor, you already have your bank account, calculator, and calendar open in front of you.

There's nothing wrong with people asking for help, and there's most definitely nothing wrong with you supplying that help, but there are some people who pop up only when they need something. They're not calling to see how you're doing or to catch up. They may start off that way, but it's just the opening act, meant to soften you up for the big question later in the conversation.

"Hey, while I have you on here, did you hear about my accident? I was ramping my monster truck over a lake for charity, and my wallet flew out of my pocket mid-jump and was shot out of the air by a goose hunter. So now I have no cash until next payday. Do you think you could float me some money until Friday?"

Time after time, you find yourself buckling to their requests. Even after you've told yourself that you're going to harden up and tell them to blow a cactus, you still give in. You can't help it. You're a nice person, and if you have the means to help them out, who are you to turn them down?

Why It's So Hard to Fix:

In my experience, the people who fall victim to this generally aren't big into confrontation. Maybe more aptly, they avoid confrontation like vampires avoid sunlight and sharp wood. Unfortunately, the only way I've found to fix the problem is to have a honest talk with the people who take advantage of it.

Hemera Technologies/AbleStock.com
"Now, how do I say this without using the word 'twat'?"

You don't have to be a dick about it or let the conversation devolve into back flips and spin kicks, but if you want it to stop, you do have to let them know that they can't call you only when they need something. That's not a friendship; it's a government cheese line. And I'm not just talking about favors that involve money, either. I know tons of people who get calls only when their friends are in an emotional crisis. That's a really fine line, because friends should always be there for support when the world turns to shit ... but that shouldn't be the whole goddamn relationship.

Taking that plunge is hard. Many people fear the confrontation so much that they'll never attempt it, choosing instead to always be the go-to solution for others' catastrophes. Just know that the ones who take advantage of you aren't going to have an epiphany on their own and say, "I'm so sorry for the way I've used you over the years. What a fool I've been to have taken advantage of you. Here is a million dollars to make up for it."

I hate hiccups..

According to science, a hiccup is what occurs when I have no idea. What am I, an ornithologist? It's something to do with a flipped diaphragm or whatever. The point is, a hiccup is when someone goes "hyack" about 300 times in a row and you sit there and try not to murder them until it ends.

Nothing in the world has more bullshit home remedies than hiccups. You'd think people would spend more time trying to figure out if lemon and honey cures cancer, but they don't. Instead they let you know that breathing into a paper bag on your head while drinking water with a Hot Pocket in your ass will probably fix those hiccups right up. Also, it never works, so instead of just being annoyed by hiccups, you get annoyed by hiccups and the ridiculous ways people try to fix them. But the fact that there are so many ways to try to fix them speaks to just how much people hate them. They'll try 101 ridiculous things to make them go away because hiccups are the biological function equivalent of that guy who smears shit on the walls in a public restroom. They're just so awful.

No one has control over hiccups, which is why it's kind of shitty to be so frustrated by them. I get hiccups and I piss myself off; it makes no sense. I assume it's the repetitiveness of it that is so off-putting, like when you're a kid in school and that little fuck who sits next to you keeps poking you because his mom drinks a lot and his dad is never there and he thinks this kind of shit is kosher and it's not like it hurts, it's just that eventually you have to stab him with your pencil so he understands his place in the natural order of things.

I like to think that on some primal level we're offended by hiccups as a lack of control. We see some hiccuping chucklefuck and think, "What a weak-willed nancy," or something very similar to that. You can't even stop your body from making cartoon spasms. You eat shit and die. Is that fair? No. But life isn't fair.

Learning

Are you a good person? The answer to this question is almost guaranteed to be yes, and the people who say no are just so tiresome I will pretend they said yes as well, because dealing with that brand of Hot Topic self-loathing isn't in the cards for today. So, we all think we're good people, by and large. But could you be a better person? Now, here, if you say no, you're probably awful. and I won't listen to that, either. 

For much of us, there's wiggle room to be a better person. You should want to be a better person, because why not? You have a finite amount of time in this world, and why not keep trying to do better and be better? And it doesn't even have to be hard. And just think: if everyone tried to be better, everything would be better. Is that ever going to happen? 

What's the best way to be better? Learn better. That shit's tight. Socrates, once said something along the lines of, "The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing." This more or less means you will never know everything, and being aware that you don't know everything is a good thing. No one likes a cocky know-it-all. So you start from a position of realizing you know jack, and that leaves a lot of room to learn new stuff. That makes you a wiser, more-rounded person, and that's alright.

While most of us can't wait to get the hell out of school and start a sweet life full of microwave burritos and lazy afternoon jack off sessions between episodes of Maury, some of us keep learning even beyond grad school, and it doesn't require a knit cap or thick-rimmed glasses. Self-directed learning can, in fact, be all kinds of awesome.

While school wants you to learn terrible things like how to make change with an abacus and what Robert Frost thought about farmhouses and cow shit, self-directed learning is all about you. For instance, you can learn the electric guitar, which is awesome. You can play it for friends and family at parties, or on the street for strangers, or in a band at clubs and make hundreds of people feel awesome. You could be Slash and play every Guns N' Roses song, and that is literally the best thing a person can do with a guitar. You can do that! I'm going to do that later! Let's do it together!

There's no downside to learning, unless you're just looking into more efficient ways to dispose of bodies that ensures no gang of kids in the woods will find your latest victim. And that's a good thing, too. So even your learned psychosis is kind of a good thing. Face it, learning is aces. Go learn shit.

EYE FLOATERS

Your eyes are immensely intricate machines built through millions of years of evolution, so it's only reasonable that they should have developed a few glitches along the way. For instance, the dots or squiggly lines that are sometimes visible off to the sides of your visual field. They float around and then dart out of sight immediately if you try to get a good look at the bastards.

These damn things.

And then you have the bright spots that appear in front of your eyes ("seeing stars") when your body suddenly strains really hard. Maybe you sneezed or just rubbed your eyeball.

Both phenomena are completely normal, yet the explanations are weirder than you think.

It Happens Because ...

First of all, "eye floaters" are not  just lint  that fell into your eye 

Your eyes are mostly made up of a jelly called vitreous fluid, and this gel undergoes many changes as you age. As it slowly shrinks, it loses its smoothness and starts to look stringy. The vitreous can also become more liquid, and this allows for tiny fibers in your eye to come together and form (relatively) large clumps. These get big enough to become visible and freak us out, but they eventually sink down and settle at the bottom of your eyes where you can't see them. So technically, they're your little buddies for life.

Dundanim/Photos.com
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As for the bright dots that flash and move in front of your eyes, they're called phosphenes, and they're caused when cells in your retina are messed with (by rubbing your eyes or having a large person slap you in the dark), causing them to misfire. Strangely, scientists have found that they can also stimulate phosphenes by running electricity across the visual cortex part of your brain. Try it on a friend!

But wait, it gets weirder: Have you ever gone out and stared up at a clear blue sky, only to see faint white dots dancing around the edge of your vision? Most people can see it if they really look, and it's worth it because you are seeing the goddamned white blood cells shooting through the blood vessels in your fucking eyeball. The blue light causes the vessels and other cells to be invisible to your eye, so you wind up seeing the white blood cells zipping around like tiny ghosts.  Maybe there's a tiny ship full of scientists in there.

Creepy Creature Worm Squid Thing

The deep sea is made almost entirely out of wrong. It seems everything that lives more than a few thousand feet below the water's placid surface was concocted by the maddest of the old gods on his worst day. For example, this little miracle, which takes the worst and most repulsive features of both worms and squids and concocts something even more heinous than the sum of its already quite heinous parts.

Discovered over a mile under the surface of the Celebes Sea between Indonesia and the Philippines, this 4-inch cutie is technically known as Teuthidodrilus samae, but its friends call it the squidworm. If it had any. Which it obviously doesn't.

Seriously, look at that goddamned face. Why are there tentacles coming out of it, why are those tentacles as long as its actual body, and why are some of them curly? The answer to all of those questions is, of course, a faint, high-pitched scream.

Apparently one of the Great Old Ones took a selfie.

Well, almost.

Those face-tentacles actually serve a real purpose beyond ensuring that you never eat calamari again. Namely, helping the worm to breathe -- with an extra few tentacles reserved for eating delicious marine snow, which generally consists of "fecal material, dead animals, and cast off mucus."

Oh, and there are also six pairs of feathers buried in that hot mess that serve as its nose for reasons God forgot just as soon as the glue-high wore off. Scientists noted that squidworms have both "seabed-dwelling and free-swimming characteristics," meaning they inhabit the ill-defined space between the sea floor and the surface. A sort of oceanic purgatory, if you will. This suggests that the squidworm may be a transitional species, evolving as we speak toward securing a more permanent ecological niche, whatever that may be.

We're going to go ahead and assume it's your soul.

Tyrannosaurus' Cute Little Arms Could Rip You to Shreds

1971yes/iStock/Getty Images

Tyrannosaurus rex was the Tyrannosaurus rex of the dinosaur world. You don't need metaphors when you've got a bite force in excess of the weight of an African elephant. A single nibble from T. rex makes your whole goddamn species go extinct. The only thing powerful enough to kill and eat a T. rex is another T. rex. Still, there's one thing that made every T. rex grow up to develop a nagging inferiority complex, and that's the relentless teasing all the other dinosaurs gave him about his itty-bitty arms.

Levent Konuk/iStock/Getty Images
"Dude, it's how you use it."

Hey, you guys, T. rex is napping -- quick, tickle his ear hole and let's watch him try to slap it! And then we'd laugh and laugh, and he'd use those hilariously inadequate arms to rip us clean the fuck in two.

Though they were only slightly longer than an average man's, you've got to remember that a T. rex's arms were attached to nine salivating tons of pure, fabulous muscle. His biceps alone could curl 430 pounds apiece, and that's not even taking into account the fact that those guns had backup in the form of the friggin' nuclear weapons that were his chest and shoulder muscles. Paleontologists think that a T. rex's arms were powerful enough to help him push his enormous body up from the ground after sleeping, or to latch onto a female T. rex during mating. 

Why Do Your Fingers Prune When You Take a Bath?

Everyone knows how to tell when bath time is over: you suddenly notice the bath's gone chilly and the whiskey bottle is empty. However, when we were younger, there was a slightly more liver-friendly way to know when to get out of the tub: when your fingers started pruning. As a kid, you probably just assumed this was the first sign that your body was about to start melting. And for the longest time, science's answers weren't much less stupid.

Ryan McVay/Photodisc/Getty Images
"Melting? Fine. Sure. Whatever. Now can you excuse me? I've got stuff to grow on rats' backs."

However, it looks like they've finally cracked this particular nut: A new theory suggests that pruning not only has a function, but is a straight-up evolutionary advantage that allows us to grip wet items more tightly. You may have noticed that the wrinkles that form on your fingers resemble treading on tires and other high-friction materials. The point of treading is to increase surface area and thus friction, and that's what scientists think pruning does, too.

In the modern world, this helps us with holding on to the soap and, well, that's basically it. But back in caveman days, pruned fingers may have been a huge survival advantage for our ancestors living in wet and humid climes. The extra gripping power provided by nutsack-textured fingers meant they had a surer grip on the spears and other weapons they used to fend off hungry beasts.

estt/iStock/Getty Images

Keeping their precious genes safe so that future generations might masturbate in the shower more efficiently.

The pruning response doesn't work with fingers where the nerve had been severed, which heavily implies that pruning is an intentional response from your central nervous system, which knows a thing or two about keeping your ass alive.

HOW TO NOT LOOK GOOD IN PHOTOS

To those people who are super photogenic all the time.. I envy you guys.
Because I can never take a good photo whenever I try hard or not.
Whether it is a good smile, lighting, or angle coming from the photograph, I still look like a person who had just got out of jail.
This is why whenever photo taking is in session, I give up on trying to look good and look "fabulous" instead.

*strike a pose*

*smile like theres no tomorrow*

*question life itself*

Either I'm having too much fun looking goofy in photos or I have serious issues.

lol..

Life is too short to wast time on good photos - yiphann 2014

Things You Won't Believe Crocodiles Are Learning to Do

Soo recently I have read an article concerning crocodiles and their nature habits..
The thing is, recently those hard scaled meat chomping reptiles have learnt to actually CLIMB TREES
Its scary enough to know you might encounter one of them while swimming in rivers but to see them above you on trees is taking horror to a whole new level

when you thought it was safe to build a tree house or pluck mangos from trees,

SURPRISE!! *CHOMP CHOMP*
THERE GOES AN ARM.

Apparently scientists have theorized that the reason was because they are probably trying to control their body temperature by basking under the sunlight. As much as I think that its cool that these reptiles have evolved to become prime predators in rivers, being face to face with one will definitely send me running back home and hiding under the blankets.

source of article at: http://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/if-you-think-climbing-tree-will-save-you-crocodile-180949728/?no-ist

BEAAACHHH

It was the month of May and I have just recently finished the second semester of the year in my studies. SEM BREAK MOOD was all on the rise as holidays arrived along with it.

After months of tedious work on assignments and studying it was always good to have a break from all of it. This was when my family decided on a 3 day 2 night vacation trip to Pangkor Island which was situated in the state of Perak.

I have always loved nature and going to the beach since I was a child so I was naturally excited for the trip.

It took us at least 3 to 4 hours of driving and ferry till we finally managed to reached our destination.

Once we checked in to the hotel and unload our luggage, it was beach beach beach all the way for me already.

One thing that I always do at beaches is finding and catching crabs. The big ones are harder to find and are quick on their feet. To catch a proper sized crab you gotta be cunning, quick, and silent at the same time.

 STEP ONE: Scout from a distance for any moving things on the sand.

 STEP TWO:  Approach silently with caution and take notice on the crab’s movements. This is because                              before anyone gets close to a crab they usually scurry away in to their holes in the sand.

STEP THREE: By now the crab would have noticed you approaching towards it and already took shelter in                         their holes. This is where it is important to remember exactly which hole the crab went in to

STEP FOUR: START DIGGING TILL YOU FIND THAT LITTLE CRITTER.

STEP FIVE: Be quick with your hands and pick the crab up on its hind side and pray that you do not lose a                     finger